It has come to my attention that for a long time I have ran away from my problems. I have left my job and never gone back because I could not face working there another day. I left my face to face counselling session to never be seen again. I would rather ghost a close friend than express my feelings and most recently I lived in my living room for 24 hours because of a large spider. Although the last example is a fairly common reaction, this made me realize I would rather remove myself from the situation completely than face it head on.
I don’t know where this stems from, maybe the Death of my dad almost a decade ago which I mentally blocked out for years. Maybe from having an alcoholic mother, who convinces herself and others she doesn’t have a problem. Maybe from my step-dad who although he knows my mother has a problem, chooses to do nothing and has carried on as normal for the past 8 years. Or maybe it is because of the two abusive relationships I was part of from the ages of 12-18, which I hid from everyone.
Maybe hiding has become who I am?
One day at a time 